Sexuality Degrees

Many of us Alaskans have been impacted by the increasing prices of lumber lately.  There’s been a number of articles, locally and nationally, on the price increases seen across the lumber industry.

There are a few very well known explanations of the supply and demand issues affecting lumber pricing.  These factors, of course, were well illustrated in the actual article.

This Alaskan, though, went off the rails on the headline and decided to come up with their own explanation of the cause…

Oh, this is getting good.  It seems that our original commenter may be slightly underestimating the person they are chatting with.

But wait, there’s more!  Clearly, our originally commenter thinks that moving the entire US lumber industry to South Dakota is the right answer!

Well, our respondent certainly dropped the mic on that one.  Ouch.

I’m gonna have to save the “sexuality degree” comment for later.  That was straight up gold, commenter!

Ancestry Is A Scam

We generally don’t get excited about news on television shows, but this comment stood out.

Yes, you can describe studying ancestry as “tracking the dead.”  In our estimation, that’s a true statement.  Fortunately, they don’t move around a lot, so it’s pretty easy.

But, ancestry being a scam?  In the words of our commenter, LOLOLOLOL.

The perpetrators of this scam really must be held accountable!  In fact, there should probably be a show that uncovers this scam, it’s been going on for millennia!  We’d tune in for that one, for sure!

Arm Your Children

This particular situation definitely caught our attention.  Seems like a party got a out of control and things went really, really bad fast.

While we certainly weren’t there, it’s reasonable to assume here that the issue likely did not require the use of lethal force.  Put simply, run of the mill fights should not be settled with the use of a firearm.

That’s not anti-2A, that’s anti-stupid.

Of course, we’ve got our fair share of people that seem to think otherwise.  This Alaskan is certainly out there searching for alternative answers…

Yeah, that’s probably the right solution.  Let’s arm the children.  Instead of one child with a gun, we should have multiple children with guns.

We don’t disagree with the general sentiment expressed here, but this particular problem does seem like it needs to be solved with something other than more firearms.

Like, perhaps, personal responsibility, proper firearm training, better parenting and parental oversight?

Again, Wondering…

In a rather tragic discovery, an underwater robot identified a lost Indonesian submarine that had succumbed to Davy Jones’ Locker.

One might be immediately struck by the tragedy of the situation, with as many as 53 sailors meeting their unexpected deaths.

Not this Alaskan, though.  They had deep, unanswered questions about the situation:

We immediately note how serious this question is, with six question marks appending the comment.

Apparently this person is entirely unaware of why the 4th largest nation in the world, home to some 270 million people, might possibly want a submarine.

Or that a county largely comprised of archipelago and over 17,000 islands is likely to have a rich nautical background?

A rudimentary understanding of geography can, at times, save you from looking like an idiot.  May we suggest a vacation down under?

Reinbold No Fly

In other news, one of Alaska’s state senators decided to challenge the Federal government by trying to get Alaska Airlines to “look the other way” on their mask enforcement requirements laid upon them by the Feds.

This is one of those battles you really shouldn’t pick, no matter who you are.  Whatever you think of mask requirements, battling the Feds with a $12 TRILLION dollar budget is not going to work out in your favor.

The subject was bound to spark some lively debate, though:

We’re still trying to figure out what “you shouldn’t be wither you selfish CNT” actually means in this context.  We can’t even really figure out what side of the debate they are on, either.

But the follow up comment was absolute gold.  Stay in your homes, everyone!  And don’t teach grandma how to Facebook!

Home Invasion Type Of Person


This Alaskan reported to his fellow neighbors that there was a “home invasion type of person” that was wanted by AST.  We really had to chuckle at that descriptor since most use a single word for these people, such as burglars or robbers.

Followed, of course, by an update to the situation after they read the actual news article.

But it appears this home invader has made some poor choices in life and this fact did not escape this observant Alaskan:

We hope he doesn’t change clothes either!  Really does make these criminals easier to catch!

And of course, someone is either a low-grade dad joker…or is still figuring out how adjectives work…

Probably not, my friend.  Probably not.

Freezer Parts

This particularly gruesome and horrifying headline seems to merit a bit of alarm.  For further context, let’s add the Nixel alert that AST put out to the public:

Quite the horror show going on here all ready.

A logical person might immediately fear a serial killer is on the loose!

Other logical people might ask what kind of evidence may have been left at the crime scene?  That’s just getting things started…

The Alaskan internet sleuths, though, were obviously well ahead of me.


One such Alaskan expressed their concern that there could be dozens or maybe hundreds of partially buried freezers with body parts in them!  OMFG.

In true form, someone read that concern and used it as a jumping off point to insinuate the killer may have stuffed the body in the freezer and then proceed to “ejaculate all over the body parts!”

I’m no professional killer…but…

We were thinking maybe the evidence might include fragments of clothing, fingerprints or maybe hair based DNA evidence…but clearly we haven’t thought this crime through!

Fortunately, as we read on through the comments, someone had all ready figured out how to solve the murder mystery:

Seriously, though, we’re gonna follow this story because it’s creepy AF.  And also bound to be a great comment magnet.

Count The Babies

In the good news department, the latest (constitutionally mandated) US census shows that Alaska’s population is increasing.  Albeit, at a rate much below national average rates of state growth.

This topic is bound to piss off some people, though.  Some would rather live out their Alaskan fantasies of being Dick Proenneke, but with Fred Meyers and McDonalds.

This observer wisely notes that if you count two entirely different things, there is a strong likelihood the two numbers will not match!

We get it, though.  We’re still kind of pissed at all those old timer miners that risked their lives to mooch off of Alaska’s gold hills.  And God forbid, stayed here because they liked it.

Next up, a lively debate.

Ah, there it is.  Apparently “Union and folks” are genuine “border runners” (we guess from the Yukon Territory?) that come here to “get rich” by making a measly $2.65 per day from the PFD, just by living here.

If people say minimum wage is an unlivable wage these days, clearly they haven’t tried to live on Alaska’s 11 cents per hour plan!

We haven’t seen any evidence of this yet, but we definitely want more information on everyone that comes to Alaska for this PFD have “no where to place” and must be just roaming about our streets and wilderness by the tens of thousands!

We also agree, final commenter.  Pics are the proof we need in this matter.


Vampires Sparkling In The Light

In political news, we find that U.S. Senate candidate Kelly Tshibaka has been accused of making some seemingly questionable and offensive statements.

While certainly the shock headlines grab attention, we were particularly drawn to the mention that someone actually believed a fictional novel and Hollywood movie series about teenagers dressing up as and pretending to be vampires was – and we quote – “evil.”

Not missing a beat, this astute Alaskan notes the gravity of the situation well:

We have to agree.  Everything we know about vampires definitely tells us they can’t be trusted when they sparkle in the light.

This follow up comment, on another of the originally reported misdoings by Ms. Tshibaka, is practically straight out of the Internet Comment Ettiquette manual.

While we are hoping they aren’t serious, we are also fairly certain some people actually believe things like this.  Not sure how to call this one, but it reads like it’s straight out of the Internet Comment Ettiquette manual.

Welcome To

Thanks for visiting our site, this is our first post.

We’ve been wanting to make this site for awhile.  It has always occurred to us how outrageous and nutty some of the comments are on Alaskan public media.

From the brilliantly crafted comment to the true stunner of ignorance, it seems the comments on Alaska news media knows no bounds.

Many of these comments truly deserve to be archived into eternity, or at least as long as we want to keep running this site.

Stay tuned as we capture some of our favorite moments from Alaskan social media.